I failed two exams yesterday. My heart was burdened beyond belief, a mixture of anger, grief, disappointment. I find that this burden of worry is rooted in that this exam would affect my GPA and ultimately my ability to find a good job. Now what's the motivation of this worry? My lack of faith in God's supremacy and provision.
He's taken me sooo far especially in school. He's given me A's when I don't deserve them and provided jobs when my credentials are really unworthy. In light of this, my current motivation to study is still grounded in my own ability to provide for my future. I don't study for the sole purpose of glorifying God. I worry over exams and the outcome as if they were part of my identity. Grades were just another way for me to please myself and please men.
Matthew 6 goes into great detail how we are not to worry. It is impossible for a Christian to worry about their future and say God is in control at the same time. I mean, look at the birds of the air; look at how God feeds them and cares for them. Would God not care for those that are of greater value? Why worry about what we shall eat, what we shall drink, and where we will work? God knows our need and will provide!
Instead of worrying, we are to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
God is our provision. He cares for his children and it's ultimately shown on the Cross. Will he withhold any smaller thing if He's willing to sacrifice the gift of greatest value? Certainly not! Romans 8:32. So have faith in Christ, seek Him first that you might be increasingly joyful in experiencing His provision.
In all this, I can rejoice because God is systematically revealing my sins in different areas of my life. He is graciously pruning my deficiencies and showing me an ever greater need for the Savior. May Christ's sacrifice on the cross at Calvary be enough to diminish any worry or faithlessness in me!
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